Let’s face it: the reason deciphering when to use who or whom is so difficult is because very few people use the word whom when they speak. Initially learning the difference between who and whom and when to use each might seem confusing, but once you understand the difference, your papers – and even speech – will be grammatically correct.
Identifying the Subject and Object
Who is a subject.
Whom is an object.
But that nice rule doesn't help most of us because most of us don't remember the difference between the subject and object of a sentence.
The subject is always the person or thing that performs the action (or lack of action) of the sentence.
Stan went to the store.
The subject in the sentence is Stan because he went. Similarly, you can phrase a question out of the sentence by asking: Who went to the store? Stan.
The object is what the subject of a sentence acts upon (even indirectly). Keep in mind that not every sentence will have an object, but most will.
Stan bought gum.
Gum is the object of the sentence. An easy way to decide if gum is the object is to ask the question: What did Stan buy? Gum.
Longer and passive sentences can make identifying the subject and object more difficult, but for now, we’ll stick to the basics.
Using the He/Him Method
He is a subject, and him is an object. Therefore, in most cases, simply replacing he or him where you’re unsure of whether who or whom should be used is an easy solution. In many cases you can place he directly in place of who, but in most cases, you will have to rearrange a few words to place him in place of whom.
Original statement: James didn’t know who/whom would win.
Replace with he/him: James didn’t know he would win.
Therefore: James didn’t know who would win.
Original statement: With who/whom should Trey go?
Rephrase and replace with he/him: Should Trey go with him?
Therefore: With whom should Trey go?
A Few Tricks to Remember for Those Difficult Sentences
While the him/her trick works most of the time, it really comes down to understanding the subject and objects of sentences, which in certain circumstances can be difficult. Eventually, you might get stuck, unable to figure out what the subject and object of the sentence are or how to rephrase the sentence to replace the who/whom with he/him. Don't panic! Just remember these rules.
1. Always try to replace the who or whom with he or him first.
2. If that doesn't work, or you're unsure whether you rephrased the statement correctly, try to identify the subject and verb of each part of the sentence. Remember that each verb must have a subject, even if it's implied. This means there might be a second (possibly a third) subject hidden in the sentence.
Help her discover who/whom stole her purse.
This sentence is tricky because the first subject is an implied "You." This makes the verb discover belong to the implied subject. The second part of the sentence has another verb, stole. There is no obvious subject (no easily identified person, place, or thing that belongs to stole.
Break the sentence apart in to two segments, each with a subject and verb.
You help her discover.
Who stole her purse.
The second part's subject must be who (which is always a subject). You can still use the he/him trick to check your choice. He stole her purse.
3. Often times when whom is used, it is preceded by the words with or for. Don't rely on this rule, only use it if you're found at a complete loss of which word to use..
4. If none of the rules above helped, follow your instinct (or ear). If it sounds right, chances are it is. Only follow instinct if you've made a genuine effort to figure it out using other techniques.
Remember that the use of who/whom is difficult for even the greatest grammar-lovers. Try to dissect each sentence to reveal the subjects and objects and try replacing each who or whom in question with he or him. If all else fails, just remember that it's one small word in all of your paper, essay, or story, and most people will trust your authority as long as it's not a blatant error.
Megan B. Wyatt - Megan B. Wyatt has a BA in English, edits fiction manuscripts and currently works as an entertainment reporter in Lafayette, Louisiana.
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